Grapevine Gossip Girl. The new girl.

 

Our school has been a haven. Over the years I have tried to understand why. It is because of lack of bullies. During teenage, we girls would have been objectified by the boys. But maybe because we were the eldest or second oldest we always felt strong and would shoot down the boys if they started any nonsense. It always felt like we were in control. Then came the outsiders. A flock of new girls that changed the pattern. They brought in glamour and discontent in our quaint little village.

Most never lasted long enough. They stayed maybe a term or the ones who stayed gelled into the fabric of our school and assimilated in the fabric of our school. And became just one more part of the heirarchy. With every new addition we would see the guys go crazy fighting over her. Gradually either the girl would bend to our wishes or leave the school. Harsh but that was the rule of our small town.

However, the one that stays in mind is the arrival of a pretty Sardarni whom we all tried to put in a box. An innocent looking girl box, or the poor little rich girl box. When she got top marks in a mathematics test we didn’t know what to do with her. Should we put her in the intelligent nerdy box too?  We were flummoxed. We did see the same level of fanatic infatuation that guys used to have over “claiming” a girl. But this was different. She had come into the science section. Hate to say it- but considering we were in the studious section – we considered ourselves good looking and important. It was like this was our village/town and we were the mafias. Now there was a heirarchy still amongst us, some sort of power struggle for the position at the top. Few weeks passed and we were not able to do or say anything about her coz she was friendly too!

One extra sunny afternoon, I was hanging out with my close girl friends around the playground. Not playing but as usual gossiping about the still new for us “new girl”. We were going to have a party that weekend and were discussing what to wear. When one of my friends wondered as to what She would wear. Something yellow and black like a taxi – I said and all of us giggled. Inside my heart of hearts, I quite liked the yellow and black combination which everyone thought looked like a taxi but I felt looked like a honeybee. Another said something about her hair being ugly brown – again something I knew we all wanted because her hair shone like almost golden brown colour in the morning assembly and not rough but always smooth as if she had done keratin treatment. Someone said something about her upperlip being too hairy- I smiled and licked my own upperlip- knowing that the dig could have been on my facial hair as well because my mom had not yet allowed me to thread or wax it. Citing some causal relationship between removal of hair and pursuit of studies.  

My thought and irritation was interrupted by an annoying friend who exclaimed “The party – oh yeah… She was saying “Let me see how you guys have a party “”. Now here is when tone & punctuation matter, but what matters most is the intention of a person. My pre-conceived notions and jealousy about her immediately made me feel as if the Sardarni had said these words as a challenge – Like , “oh really… let me see just how you will have a party.”

I impulsively reacted “ What ? How dare she ? why does she think we haven’t had parties before! That’s it… I am cutting her off…” The girls were maybe a bit suprirsed but none of them said anything and from what I can remember they all sort of agreed to this plan implicitly. And so we had the party, we had fun. One of my guy friends asked why the new girl is ostracised by the girls of the class and another one bluntly explained that its because we are all envious of her. Defensively I said that she was being rude and haughty and that we don’t need to justify to the boys who are blind in love with her anyways.

Anyhow, after this the poor girl started scoring low in subjects – specially Mathematics. It also started reflecting in her looks. I didn’t feel anything for her. Nothing. Maybe because envy always been the emotion or vice that I have identified myself with the most. This went on for few weeks and then surprisingly, one day she turned up at my address. I had no clue how she got to know my address but I dare not misbehave in front of my mom and so I invited her in. She then told me her side of the story and I decided to call up that annoying stupid idiotic female who had said this in the first place. On the phone when I asked her exactly what she had the Sardarni say, she immediately accused me of passing the blame. Feeling embarrassed, caught out and humiliated – I told the silly female to keep the phone and turned to apologise to the Sardarni for the pain that I caused her.

Not so surprisingly, she was welcomed by open arms (literally) by the guys in our class. She did become an important person in our group a few years later. And now after decades none of us are in touch with her directly- again apart from some guys who still cyber stalk via Facebook.

Oh. To be young and feel the intensity of envy. Envy.